I’m going to move into a shared house tomorrow as the title says; this would be my first and foremost experience ever. The notion of sharing a house with three complete strangers makes my nerve to shake a bit. I’m not making the presumption that this would be an unsavory experience, provided with the context that my life has been so far resembling an unadorned sheet of paper where nothing critical has occurred to distinguish me from the group of “conforms”. This was unearth by me ever since that conformed life of mine went off track ensued with the dissociation from my old friend circle. The cause has became insignificant after I realized how ridiculous it was, well, it has pushed me so far that I finally realized a change must be taken for me to live on my life. Anyways, after embracing the arcane world of solitude, I have seen the transformation of loneliness from a ruthless tormentor to an omniscient teacher who taught me how to suck it up while acknowledging that I’ll be good on my own, so stop crying like a big baby and stop hallucinating living in the life as an astute nun. This is what I heard from most talk shows where famous people share their before-famous past, and I have generalized a pattern that before becoming a big deal you must undergone some kind of traumas in life, in other words dreadful labor comes first before harvesting.
Back to my dread of moving into the three strangers’ house, could that be another change that I must undergo before obtaining my goal? I ‘m sure it won’t be nearly as dreadful as it seems for now after I moved in, but dealing with people have always troubled me. Humans have very intricate mindset, which made them so hard to please. Talking to a stranger is like putting your fingers on chopping board and give the person the power to cut off your fingers one at a time if anything imprudent is shown by your words. Well, dealing with three strangers is like to have my fingers and feet placed on the chopping board while giving them the right to dismember my body parts whenever I fail to use the right word. Okey, by now you are probably assuming that I’m an extreme antisocial (is that even a word?), but be honest I have no problem of appearing normal in our first meet, but my heart beat would reach to a pinnacle if it tested by a heart-rate monitor. So in conclusion, I’m a bit timid and awkward in making new friends, but in my heart there is a strong desire to break through the little shell in which I hide, so please feel free to give me a hand or a hammer J
Moving in will be this Sunday night, I’m crossing my fingers hoping those people won’t have any association with the ones I’m trying to avoid.
